Just North of the FL/GA Line

Obviously, I have not blogged in a very long time. In fact, as far as my sanity is concerned, it has probably been a bit too long. Well I'm back, but instead of bore you with an exhaustive analysis of the happenings of the past few months, I am going to mix it up a little.

Everyone loves music; we all have our favorite artists and songs. But sometimes, maybe once in a blue moon, a song comes along that does more than have you tapping your steering wheel or cashing out to iTunes. Sometimes a song really hits home, or as Kenny Chesney called it, "stamps our lives." I had this experience a few months ago, and really the song tells the story better than I can.

I've always been a big dreamer, but this year I've had to really lean on my faith to realize what I really wanted. I am happier than I ever have been or ever imagined possible. So, with a little help from Lady Antebellum, here's the story of how all my dreams came true. Some of the lyrics have been modified to fit more accordingly into my life, but I think you will find the actual lyrics mostly accurate.

~Lady Antebellum- "Home Is Where the Heart Is"~

I felt I was spinning my wheels
Before too long the road was calling
I packed everything I owned
So sure that I was leaving this small town life behind for good
And not a single tear was falling
It took leaving for me to understand
Sometimes your dreams just aren't what life has planned

Mama said home is where the heart is
When I left that town
I made it all the way to West Virginia  Knoxville, Tennessee
And that's where my heart found
Exactly where I'm supposed to be
It didn't take much time
It's just south of the Mason Dixon north of the Florida/Georgia line

Wow! That's me. I could not wait to get out of the small town life and get to the University of Tennessee. That was my dream. I wanted to be a Vol most of my life. And it definitely lived up to my expectations. I loved Knoxville, I loved the school, and I loved all the new friends I had made and all the new experiences I had encountered.

As you can imagine, I was quite devastated when I had to transfer back home because of UT's rising cost. I considered other schools, but I was certain UT was where I was supposed to be. I guess "sometimes your dreams just aren't what life has planned." So I worked and worked and worked to get back there. In the meantime, I also started talking to a certain, quite good-looking Marine. What started as a trip to a football game with a friend turned into a long distance relationship with my best friend. Which brings me to verse two:

I worked third shift at an all night diner three jobs and went to community college
Only stayed to save a little money for
Enough gas to make it to the east coast Smokey Mountains
That's when I saw the brightest pair of
Deep blue green eyes walking straight into my life
And every night we talked till it became so clear
And I could feel those dreams inside shifting gears
Cause love brought me here

Mama said home is where the heart is
When I left that town
I made it all the way to West Virginia back to Huntsville, Alabama
And that's where my heart found
Exactly where I'm supposed to be
It didn't take much time
It's just south of the Mason Dixon north of the Florida/Georgia line

I worked...and worked...and worked some more. I applied for scholarships, financial aid, and programs to get my tuition reduced. I made multiple trips to Knoxville. I was getting everything worked out to go back. But then the Marine snuck in again.

I applied to a program that would lower my tuition to the in-state rate. All the forms were sent, and I was just waiting for a reply. Ryan (you know, the Marine) had hoped to come home for Easter weekend, but when he wasn't allowed to leave, I headed to Nashville with my home congregation to judge speeches, puppet skits, and debates in the annual Lads to Leaders Convention. Keeping with tradition, I was talking to Ryan at every point possible and was in the process of texting him at Rusty's restaurant when I turned around to see his smiling face walking up. Surprise!

Needless to say, I was ecstatic! The weekend was amazing until we had to say goodbye. That night I checked my e-mail while waiting for Ryan to call. Sitting in my inbox was the approval to have my tuition lowered. I had already heard about my financial aid. This meant everything, let me repeat that, everything-tuition, fees, books, meals- would be paid for.

Naturally, I was excited at first, but then I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. When Ryan called I cried. I didn't say anything to him at the time, but this was my first feeling that maybe moving back to Knoxville wasn't my dream after all.

I kept that feeling to myself for a while, expressing them only to Ryan after we had talked about the possibility of getting married someday. He of course would not give me his opinion; he wanted me to figure it out for myself. So I took it to the Lord. First, I prayed for a sign not to go back to UT. The next day, the girl I had planned to live with backed out. In a way, I was relieved. Then I applied to Jacksonville University. If I was going to get married and move to some strange town, I needed a school to go to. I prayed that if it was meant to be, I would get in and get A LOT of financial aid. Check, and check. Truthfully, it was the answer I wanted, but I still didn't believe it was happening. Cue the last verse.

And I'm standing in my veil about to say I do
As mama smiles with tear drops in her eyes
And then I realize there's something mama (and God) always knew
Love is what I really had left to find

She said home is where the heart is
When I left that town
I made it all the way to West Virginia Knoxville, Tennessee
And that's where my heart found
Exactly where I'm supposed to be
It didn't take much time
It's just south of the Mason Dixon north of the Florida/Georgia line


There's certainly more details to the story. Sometime soon I intend to write just about the angel at O'Charleys. But this is what you need to know for now. I married Ryan. I moved to St Marys, Georgia. I don't have a job. I'm not even in school right now, but will be next semester. I spend quite a bit of time alone. But you know what? I spend quite a bit MORE time smiling. I am so happy, happier than I have ever been. Obviously, marrying Ryan was the right decision, and I wake up every day knowing that I am loved by the most amazing man in the world and that our amazing God has a plan for us. Even when things aren't ideal, I know that God put me here for a reason and put us together for a reason. I am anxious to see what life has in store for us, and I know we can take on anything together.

"Home Is Where the Heart Is" might have been written by Lady Antebellum, but the story was penned by God. He is an excellent author, and, like a great song or novel, I'm intent on seeing how my story unfolds.

Blame It On Rip Van Winkle

Let me start off by saying I should be writing a paper. I should be writing about Washington Irving's Rip Van Winkle and how it reflects on the significance of pausing in the present to reflect on the past, but as I read about Rip and his unfortunate circumstances, I (1) agree with Irving and (2) feel infinitely sorry for Rip.


If that indeed is the reason Irving choose to write Rip Van Winkle (I make no claims to excellent literary analyses.) then he is totally correct. Winston Churchill once said, "The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see." Our nation and world faces new challenges every day, some that seem insurmountable, but if we could just take a moment and reflect on the past, maybe we could see a clearer picture for solving these problems. I tutor children in math every day, and although I recognize the importance of math and science to our global competitiveness, I feel a little disheartened that history does not get the same amount of effort and attention. It is important that these kids someday know how to balance a checkbook, but will they also know the laws of our land, and will they have enough love and respect for our liberties to adequately defend them?

Second, I feel sorry for Rip, because, even though he became the resident story teller of his community sparking an interest in the past among its residence, he slept through history. He had a chance to see it, and he missed it! He slept through the AMERICAN REVOLUTION. Now, in a historical sense, the events we see today do not compare, but how much history are we "sleeping" through? I am bad to wish I had grown up during some of the most significant moments in American history without thoroughly appreciating the history we are living (and making!) everyday.

Think about it. I definitely did not vote for President Obama, and don't plan on doing it in 2012, but the historical significance of his election is remarkable. President Lyndon Johnson (my favorite) signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 just forty-six years ago. That may seem like a long time ago, but to put it into perspective think about the fact that the Civil War ended, marking the real beginning of freedom for slaves, in 1865, 145 years ago. It took another 100 years for African-Americans to be allowed to go to school with white children, and now just forty-six years later, one has prevailed to hold arguably the highest position in the world. Regardless of how well you think he is performing his duties, that's still pretty incredible.

Partly to be fair to conservatives, but more so just because I vehemently support him, think of the significance of people like Mitt Romney being able to run for president or run companies. At the beginning of our nation, religion dominated your life. You could have your property, freedoms, and even your life taken for the crime of thinking differently. Not during my lifetime, but “recently” in a historical sense, our country has elected a Catholic in President Kennedy, and now we allow a Mormon to run with minimal attacks based on religion (and the majority of those coming from his own party). In this country, you can call for the complete dissolution of the IRS and still run for president with no persecution. In the 1960’s young adults came together thinking differently and listening to different music, and somehow sparked a cultural phenomenon. My point is thinking differently is no longer a crime in the United States; it’s celebrated!

If I did not have a paper to get back to, I could go on forever talking about the incredible events we see taking place today, and how we really should take just a moment to reflect and, most importantly, learn. Maybe I'll write a sequel ;-)

My point is we live in incredible times in an even more incredible nation, and it's time we take time to reflect on that. Our past has shaped us into the great nation we are today, and we would do well to take more time to learn from it.

The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn

Last year, I lived on my own. I still had some financial support from my parents, though sparingly, and I lived in an environment very conducive to my needs. There was all the food I needed within walking distance; I had a place to live where utilities were provided. I paid for these things in one lump sum instead of working to make that payment every month. So my being on my own was not the most independent of situations, but I was essentially on my own. And I learned something about myself from this time of independence: I'm a lot more prepared to take care of myself than I think.


For example, I knew without much trouble which clothes to wash with which. I knew to eat at least three meals a day, and that in order to stay at a functioning level, I should probably sleep occasionally. I found my way around a new city with fair ease. I obtained the financial resources to pay for this environment, and I made it successfully. My parents may not like to admit it, but I can do a pretty good job taking care of myself. Why? Because they did their job.

Parents strive to teach their kids everything they know about life in eighteen short years, and then it's up to the kid make it. They may not like to see us leave, but their ultimate goal is to prepare us to live without them. My parents gave me everything I needed (and most of what I wanted) growing up, then let me wander into the world and make it on my own. I succeeded. Mission accomplished.

In a lot of ways, that same situation could be applied to our education system, or even our government in general. I know education is an incredibly broad subject, and there is no silver bullet that will solve all of its problems. But education could be the silver bullet to solve all of the other problems our world faces. What we need to do is prepare our students to one day live without complete dependence on the government.

If students are taught personal finance in school, some, though certainly not all, will be more equipped to handle their own money some day. If we shift our focus from all math and science to include some more serious talk of government and civic engagement, we may see a more knowledgeable and active citizenry and a huge surge in voter turnout. If kids are required to work hard and earn their grades, and if we strictly reinforce that actions have consequences, we could see a much more trained and ethical work force in the future. And most importantly, if we teach our children that kindness supersedes every other human quality, we may see a different world.

I see sets of curriculum all the time that teaches concepts but not application. We teach our kids "how" instead of "why." If we don't fix this trend, we will continue to see a growth of students that are armed with facts but have no idea how to function on their own or in society. It is important in our schools (and in our homes!!) that we teach children the skills they will need to support themselves. Maybe the best way to improve our government- to reduce the national debt, to cut back entitlement programs, to strengthen our military and our schools- is to have less people reliant on it.

"Education is not the answer to the question. Education is the means to the answer to all questions."
-William Allin

America

I've developed a very bad habit lately. I am fascinated with education, especially the policy aspect of it, but commonly frustrated with the efforts (or lack of) being put into improving our education system. I am frustrated with the political party controlling Washington, pushing legislation after legislation that either destroys freedom or undermines the American way. I am frustrated with the opposite party for their lack of ideas and healthy discussion, choosing instead to fight with one another than to defend the Constitution and fix our ailing nation. All of this culminates into a bad habit of being frustrated with "America." I find myself often saying why "America" is bad, not why the individuals who make it up are at fault.

But I am wrong. America is not bad, never has been, and I hope it never will be. America is the country who defeated Hitler and defended freedom all over the world. America is the nation that pulls together to send more aid than any other country to people we'll never meet in other, less fortunate nations. America is the country that allows a free marketplace of ideas as well as a free marketplace of commodities. The words of Israel's president Shimon Peres say it best:

 America is unique in the history of the world. In the history of the world, whenever there has been war, the nation that is victorious has taken land from the nation that has been defeated...Only one nation in history, and this during the last century, was willing to lay down hundreds of thousands of lives and take no land in its victory...America is unique in the history of the world for its willingness to sacrifice so many lives of its precious sons and daughters for liberty, not solely for itself but also for its friends.

And thus "America" becomes synonymous with "freedom." Throughout America's history, they have played the role of the underdog and won. Who would have ever though a young nation composed of 13 unorganized colonies could defeat the naval superiority of Britain? Who would have thought that a weak northern army, fighting to keep our country together, could defeat a stronger southern front fighting to tear our nation apart? Yes many times we have overcome great challenges. Now we find ourselves as the predicted loser again, and with all confidence I say we will overcome.

To do that, we must not only draw inspiration from the past, but we must also learn some lessons from it as well. Many events that fall on America's timeline could present valuable lessons, but I want to focus solely on the last time our nation was truly thriving.

World War II brought a death toll of over 300,000 U.S. servicemen, but it also brought a sense of American pride that propelled the economy. Women moved into the work force. Detroit began manufacturing technologies for our military. People sacrificed whatever it took. We did what was necessary to keep our nation strong, and we defended America, because America was going to defend the world.

We can learn a lesson from this today. The days of "Ask not what your country can do for you..." are long gone, but their return would bring great benefit. In a time when our economy faces devastation, it's time to turn to one another for our strength and comfort, rather than to our federal government. We, like the civilians in World War II, must work to get ahead and take responsibility for what needs to be done.

There are times in America when freedom was vehemently defended, now we sacrifice that freedom to government programs promising to fix our problems. Instead of setting par for other countries, we strive to conform to other standards. My plea is that we realize America is not every other country. We may not always do what is sensible or popular, but we do what is right. And what is right is for Americans to learn to take care of themselves, take responsibility for their failures, and be given understanding when they need to start over. 

But America is only as strong as its citizens. We are entrusted a duty to defend freedom, to work hard, and to be our best, because America is made up of the best. "Whatever it takes," should be our motto, because who knows if one day another Hitler may arise, and who will be there to stop him this time? I'm proud to say I am an American; I am not ashamed of her Constitution. Again, America is the underdog. Our economy is weak, along with our education system. We've given our government more power than our founding fathers would have ever dreamed, and they have obliged us with heavy taxes and failing programs. It's time to pull together. Call out the wrong, strive for the right, and be proud of our America. The ideas that have made us unique have worked since 1776, and they can work today.

So God bless America, my home sweet home...

Things are a few of my favorite things...

On a beautiful day like today, I cannot possibly think of anything but happy thoughts. So I totally stole this idea from Amanda Monell, modified it, and produced a few of my favorite things:

• Learning- Big surprise there. I absolutely love to learn, whether it is new things or extending my knowledge of things I already know. I love being at school. (Well, I loved being at U.T.) I love teaching kids and seeing their faces light up with new knowledge. I even enjoy studying, provided I am studying something I find interesting.

• Tennessee- I do love Tennessee as a state, but I think we all know what I really mean is I love the University of Tennessee. It is simply the best place in the world. Last year it became my home, and I cannot wait to get back to it. I miss my friends. I miss Inskip. I miss sporting events. I miss everything. I became me at U.T., and I simply cannot wait to be a Volunteer again.

• Ryan Smallwood- It would be impossible to count my blessings without counting him. He makes me smile, laugh, and forget my problems. He helps me make decisions, makes me into a better person, and brightens my day. Even though we cannot be together all of the time, I still feel like I am a priority in his life. He tells me all the time he's lucky to have me, but I think I am truly the lucky one.

• Nature- I heard a prayer recently after it had snowed in which the man thanked God for snow that covered up all the ugly things man has made. Well, not to offend Howard Roark, but I have to agree. Man may have produced some remarkable structures, but nothing compares to the beauty of what God created. Mountains, streams, flowers, animals, blue skies, snow, sunsets- the list goes on and on.

• My family- I'd be nervous looking up dysfunction in the dictionary because I am fairly certain my family's picture is there. We are not your typical family (Does that even exist?) but we work for us. We love one another, and isn't that what matters in the long run?

So there it is. I hope on this beautiful day you were reminded of your favorite things too :-)

If you don't like dogs, just stop reading now. This blog will make zero sense to you, and at the end you'll be left thinking, "This kid is some weird freak." I would prefer that NOT happen.

Ok, so let's start by establishing this fact: I LOVE animals. (Except bugs.) I love dogs; I love cats; I love animals with fur, scales, feathers, or none of the above. I once owned a snake- yes, a snake- until it got loose and I completely intentionally accidentally forgot to tell my mother. I still liked that snake. Anything that falls into kingdom Animalia wins my heart. (Except bugs.)

~Disclaimer: Truthfully, I don't know enough about science to tell you exactly what falls into that kingdom, so the above statement may or may not be true. I still love animals.~

So now that you get the picture, let me now point out that my favorite animal is....SURPRISE! Not a penguin. My favorite animal is a dog. I recently have reached this conclusion about myself. I never knew how much man's best friend meant to me until last weekend.

Here's some background. I have a dog. Her name is Abby (from NCIS...watch it) and she is a beautiful, playful, athletic, and loving Border Collie/Labrador. I am also a starving college student who does not make enough money and really shouldn't own one dog, much less two. I did not want another dog. I did not need another dog, and if I were to get one, I really wanted a male Schnauzer so I could name him Ducky or a male Lab so I could name him Gibbs. (Both NCIS names.)

So why did I find myself last Saturday spending $100 to get a female Lab mix? Because when I walked up and kneeled down to pet her, she immediately put her front paws on my shoulders and started licking me in the face. And the lady selling her just had to say, "She hasn't done that with anyone else. She must really like you!" I never thought I'd say this, but I am a sucker for a soft coat and wagging tale.

So now I have Kate. (Yet another NCIS character. It's a really good show.) Kate is the polar opposite of Abby. Abby is overly energetic and never sits down unless we absolutely make her. She loves to play tug, fetch, go running with me, or just perform trick after trick for treats. Kate is laid back. She may fetch a ball a couple of times. She is just as content lying at your feet as running at your side. Abby is crazy; Kate is chill. One thing they have in common: When I arrive home, they both run to greet me and can't stop wagging that tail. That is truly what I love about dogs.

When I was a little girl, I used to sleep with at least ten stuffed animals a night. Now I sleep with two huge ones. Both Abby and Kate come from abused backgrounds, so now they want constant attention and are hard to train. Abby's had some health problems, and Kate is a bottomless pit for food. Yet no amount of money or time could replace the feeling I get watching them play or having them lick my face in the morning. They're by my side always, even when I don't want them there. I wouldn't replace them for anything.

I usually like to conclude things I write with a quote. I searched and searched for the right one, but the truth is no one can truly relate to the feeling between dog and owner (or any pet and owner really) until they have experienced it. There truly is no companionship like it, and it cannot properly be put into words.

Abby, unusually calm

Kate snuck up to nap with my brother. Lazy, lazy, lazy

The Palin Puzzle

I embrace conservatism. I keep an open mind and weigh both sides of most issues, and I usually fall on the right. But I cannot embrace Sarah Palin, and it leaves me wondering why my fellow right-wingers can. How can they throw so much support behind a woman whose best foreign policy experience is the view of Russia from Alaska? How can they embrace a woman who could not give a definitive answer on which newspaper she regularly read? How can they embrace a woman who, instead of attacking the actual flaws on the health care overhaul, makes up ridiculous claims of death panels? And last, how can they support a woman who writes notes on her hand? Seriously?


"Human" is what they call her. Mitt Romney called her "magnificent" on David Letterman last night. Notice no one calls her "intelligent." Truly she is a strong female who stands up for herself, her family, and her country, but I have recently reached the conclusion that Republicans do not like Sarah Palin for this reason. In fact, Republican don't like Sarah Palin at all. Republicans use Sarah Palin.

Honestly, how could a woman no one outside of Alaska had heard of end up as McCain's running mate in 2008 and the front runner for the Republican presidential candidate in 2012? Because no one else wanted the job. Conservatives aren't stupid. They knew not a single Republican could defeat the Obama machine in 2008, so they sat it out. They sacrificed John McCain and Sarah Palin in order to save their own presidential hopes. Shameful? Maybe. Brilliant? No doubt.

But Palin is more than the sacrificial lamb. She embodies what Republicans needed to reach the people they were otherwise not helping. First of all, she is a woman. You want to call the right-wing sexist? How can you do that when Palin is their queen? Next, she's normal. Her daughter had a baby out of wedlock, in high school. So, if you think the Republican party is a bunch of religious fanatics, you must be wrong, because their leader's daughter didn't exactly extol the virtues of Christianity. And, she has a child with Down syndrome. Even better, because if you think conservatives do not know what it is like to go through the choice of having an abortion, here we have Palin to the rescue to show us that she too had to make that decision, and is so happy she choose to have her baby.

Palin was a politician, what the right-wing needed in a leader, but now she works for Fox News. The Republicans thought they could use Palin to get exactly what they needed. Maybe they should have picked someone a little less outspoken. Their plan backfired, and now they are sitting at home coming up with their next losing strategy, while Democrats lead our country in Washington. So here's a tip for conservatives everywhere: Campaign on your policies, and let the people decide who has a better plan.

In the end, Sarah Palin will not achieve what conservatives wanted her to do when they threw their support behind her in 2008. No, most of Palin's loyal followers are gun-owning, church-going, America-loving white Southern men, the same ones who've been voting red since Reagan's era. Republicans may love her, but they would be wise to change their tactics from politics to policies if they want to win back Washington in 2012.